you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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