If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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