everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
