Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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