He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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