This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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