Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
