Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
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