i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
