just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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