I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
