we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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