I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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