After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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