I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
