I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
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