I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
