So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
