I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
