every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize