Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
