Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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