Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
