I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
