Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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