i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
