I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize