she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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