just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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