How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
