i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
