so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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