I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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