At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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