One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
No stitches, just platelets and will power
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
