it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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