dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
