Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
