would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
