Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
This baby is an asshole
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
