So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
