Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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