he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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