I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
