my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
