I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
