According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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