So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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