Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
