he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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