I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize