In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize