I must be too annoying 4 u.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Semen is not good for contacts.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
