I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He kissed a someone with a penis
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
