so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
