Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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