How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
