he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
